Recca wrote:
Nice work on this so far, the graphics and music selection are all very good. You also did a great job with the character designs, along with the 3D exploration mode. Keep up the good work, you're doing great so far! If I had to nitpick about a few things, it would be the following:
1. The title of the game might sound better as "Leet's Adventure" rather than "The Leet Adventure". Not only because of the grammar, but also because "Leet" sounds very similar to the acronym "NEET" which means "Not in Education, Employment, or Training". It's become a rather common and offensive term used online mostly towards younger people (especially anime fans and gamers alike). And is ironically used by people who are most likely "NEETs" themselves and have nothing better to do all day than to piss off random people on the internet for kicks from the comfort of their mom's basement where they live 24/7, hah! But I'm getting a bit off topic here, so that's enough of that.
2. In the "Gold Flip mini game test" video, you have an option that says "Nah, not got the funds!" which sounds a bit strange. Even if the space for text is limited, there are still a few good alternative options to choose from. Here are a few of them: "I don't have the funds!", "Sorry, I'm broke!", "I don't have the cash!" or simply "Maybe some other time."
3. In the Arrie INN Tinkering Test video, there's an option that says "Have Arrie tinker throughout the night!" There's nothing really wrong with this sentence from a grammatical stand point, but it just sounds a bit odd if you know what I mean. Some people playing this game might start making jokes about what Arrie is actually "tinkering with throughout the night"... It's entirely your choice, but I would personally go with something more along the lines of "Have Arrie work on something." or "Have Arrie work throughout the night."
4. "Exploding V-Slash" might sound better as "Explosive V-Slash", but either way is fine and up to you.
5. In the Monster Bestiary Layout, you should change "mean" to "means" and "people" to "those" in the "Hill Hornet" monster description: "They like to use their pointy stingers as a weapon to defend themselves in battle even if it means losing the stinger to those farming them." Or you could say "to the people farming them" if you have the space for it. I added the corrections in bold so it's easier to see. And as a side note, bumblebees, wasps and hornets don't lose their stinger after stinging someone or something. Only honey bees lose them after stinging since they're the only species of bees that have barbs on their stingers, which get stuck in after they sting. This is also true of Africanized honey bees, which are more commonly known as "killer bees".
Aside from these few things, everything else seems fine. I hope that I didn't discourage you in any way. I'm just trying to offer a few pointers, which you might find helpful. Good luck with this game, I look forward to seeing it completed!
Hi Recca, thanks for the pointers, i'll break these down.
1. Leet is also an urban slang term (for gamers mostly) that means Elite., I think the more modern term used these days now is Lit. Very chavvy.. I know.. LOL! This game really don't take itself seriously with naming conventions for characters.. the main character is called Leet Stryker (lol) another.. Arrie Avenfunn (Are we having fun). Leet is a word that has MANY meanings, it is also a type of court of records that lords held once or twice a year.
2. I'll be changing a few things with that flip coin mini-game, that's on my to do list.. I'm not really liking how many times he laughs and the whole dialogue in general. It was written like that for testing phases to just get it all working.
3. You're probably right on the tinkering thing and the dirty places some gamers minds go.. LMAO! I'll add that to my growing list of changes to be made
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
4. Good catch, I think both works but like your renaming suggestion more.
5. Let me just check which Monster Bestiary you looked at.. Ah yeah.. there's actually a couple of things I want to change with that monster bestiary, the main thing (that ain't obvious on that video) is there's an issue with the button pressing when trying to close the monster down to move to the next one.. sometimes it takes a couple of presses before it closes so you can select another monster... lol. knowing me.. results of bad event coding.. i'm not that great with eventing entire menu systems from just events atm.. Smile Game Builder don't have scripting capabilities like Rpg Maker engine having Ruby script, etc, everything has to be done within events. The stinger thing I should explain more.. when you talk to the NPC to get that repeatable side-quest for Gold rewards he explains you need to cut them off.. as for real world comparison.. whilst I AM drawing off real world stuff the game is mostly fantasy. I could have the hornet go invisible and come back.. something that's not real and not what real hornets do.. I mean you don't have hornets the size of people either.. LOL! Another good catch on the description, I must have read that about 278945 times and I knew there was something up with it cos it didn't read right for me either but just couldn't place it.
Thanks for all these pointers and will definitely incorporate changes per your observations and suggestions. Those little snippets of videos barely touches the game itself, the game is around 3-4 hours long atm for chapter 1 (which will be the game's demo) and I plan at least 5 Chapters with 8/10 playable characters each with their own storylines so they don't fall into the background. Game dialogue will change for the most part also depending if you are alone or have people in your party. Loads of secrets to find, main dungeons for the story but also smaller side-dungeons to explore for treasures and stuff. My story writing ain't the best to be fair, I think my strengths lay in area mapping/design more than anything else.. or at least that's what most people seem impressed with considering it's made in Smile Game Builder. Anyways, thanks for the feedback.